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Twila's Eulogy
as delivered by
Annie Rieken, Aug 13 2003
Peace be to this house, again I
say, Peace be to this house.
Luke 10:5
Twila's family honors me in the
privilege of delivering these
thoughts and remembrances. I've
had a lot of help putting these
reflections into a perspective
that we hope will be restorative
but more importantly inspire
some closure and hope for aching
hearts.
Did you all see the beautiful
happiness collage that the
family put together? As
challenging as that must have
been for the family to
coordinate just a few evenings
after Twila's passing, I believe
it must have been very
therapeutic to touch back on
those times and events when
Twila's world was part of their
own.
She was a loved child, she knew
it, and it showed in that smile
that only Twila had. I know that
she enjoyed her birthday
parties, and Christmases,
Easters and all the family
celebration times, which build
memories and lay solid
foundations in a young mind.
Twila did understand the
principles of the Bible, she
knew right from wrong, she
memorized scriptural poems
Grandma taught, and she
remembered who Christ is. Once
you know Christ, he never
forgets you.
Twila had a unique character,
tender and tough at the same
time. I've seen her kiss her cat
and known her to lay someone out
for double-crossing her. In
school counseling terms, we call
young people like Twila "strong
willed"; leave it to Twila to
put a new edge to that meaning.
Sometimes the very personality
trait we most fear in our
children is the very same
character we admire in adults.
These are the kids that are
intense, hard to handle; almost
impossible to steer in any
direction but their own path,
but eventually they grow up to
be exemplary adults when they've
had a good start. She was
definitely a strong willed
individual and by the time she
was a young teen, she had made
her own decision to chart her
life journey on a course that
John and Betty knew would be
challenging.
Being a teen bride is always
formidable, but she took her
commitment seriously. Don't we
always want to spare our
children from a struggle? When
you raise a strong-willed child,
at a point, you have to make the
decision to let them go on their
own journey or you face the
realization that you will lose
them. You could never force
Twila into a mold she could not
abide by. I know that John and
Betty did everything within
their human capacity to try to
help Twila make sound decisions.
This was one young woman who
needed her life on her own
terms. I want you folks, John
and Betty, to remember you laid
the proper foundations, and you
planted the right seeds. She
always knew her family loved
her. She always knew the door
was open to her.
Yesterday morning I went and
spoke to the women Twila worked
with and through their tears
they told me some really
wonderful things about her.
Twila trained a young woman,
Meg, who was Twila’s age. They
were the youngest of the work
crew. Meg told me how much she
admired Twila. She told me that
Twila never made her feel
foolish or inept while she was
learning. Twila was patient with
her, understanding, and
encouraged her. One of the
others stated that Twila took
her position there very
responsibly. She was good with
the customers and the other
associates. John and Betty, they
admired her work ethic. That
comes from something she learned
in her home life with you. Meg,
Twila’s work buddy, said very
sincerely to me, “she was a
really good human, she
definitely needs to be
remembered.” I assured her that
would be no problem.
Before I left their store, Meg
approached me and said one last
thing. She said that one big
thing she admired about Twila
was that she was non-judgmental.
Twila confided to Meg that she
had had some scrapes when she
was younger but that she had not
necessarily wanted too many
people to know that about her.
She didn't want to be judged by
the way she used to be, she
wanted to be known for how she
was now. She told Meg that she
didn't want to be judged so in
turn she didn't judge others.
This statement tells me that
Twila saw her life moving into a
new or different phase. She most
certainly saw her life journey
as having a "then" and a "now."
Twila specifically stated that
she did not want to be judged
and there is a lesson for us all
in her statement. For all the
questions left surrounding
Twila's departure from this
Earth, we are charged not to
judge. We need to turn this all
over to God. It is hard to trust
in God's plan when we feel so
miserable and can't begin to put
the pieces into any semblance of
order. It does feel like a
nightmare that we wish we could
wake up from. Turn it over to
God. He will give us peace. He
is personal; he never left Twila,
at any point of her life or
death. We don't know why things
happen the way they do
sometimes, this is where we have
to trust in the creator's will.
All things work for good to
those who believe. That may
sound like such a hollow
statement at this time of grief.
Can we rest knowing that the
moment Twila’s spirit left her
body she and her baby were
instantly in heaven? Scripture
tells us in eight places the
reassurance that we instantly go
to heaven on our death, that is
a immediate and easy as stepping
through a door. We will all be
reunited with our families and
friends some day. You will know
the baby. We have to wait in the
now and fulfill the lessons a
tragedy of this magnitude leaves
for us. Somehow, some day the
reason will be known. Where
Twila and the baby are now is in
a perfection our human minds
cannot comprehend. There is
peace, love, joy, contentment
and all the aspects of
completion that our human
understanding cannot hold.
John, Betty, Janay, Candy, Troy,
other close family and friends; grief in
this proportion takes some time
to come to terms with. It will
rise up and go away in the most
unexpected places. The adversary
loves times of sorrow to double
your anguish. Satan will try to
fill your memories with
self-recrimination, doubt, anger
and just about every form of
unjustified guilt you can
imagine. I exhort you all to
resist him. In our minds, we can
not hold two conflicting
thoughts. We cannot hold a
negative and a positive
simultaneously. God's word and
love always remain more powerful
over anything the adversary
tries. I encourage you to
memorize a simple line of
scripture or think of a mission
statement that will sustain you
in the mental assault to come.
Simple scriptural passages such
as:
"I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me." Or
"He is my refuge and my
fortress, my God, in whom I
trust."
Only God can fill the giant hole
left by this experience. These
words will lend comfort. God is
personal, call on him.
For I am convinced that neither
death nor life, neither angels
nor demons, neither the present
or the future, nor any powers,
height or depth nor anything
,else in all creations will be
able to separate us from the
love of God. Romans 8 :38
Peace be to this house.
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